


Vergonya

by park3rborn



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Avela reminds me of a purple hawke........... huh., Cassandra is not a morning person, Cullen and Cassandra are homies and you absolutely cannot stop me, F/F, Gen, Insomnia, Not Beta Read, Sorry Not Sorry, alt title: "regret ft. cassandra's 40 names and the snide eggman. also iron bull and cassandra's gf", canon typical dragoning, mentions of PTSD symptoms, this is garbage shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-16
Updated: 2016-12-16
Packaged: 2018-09-02 00:56:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8645008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/park3rborn/pseuds/park3rborn
Summary: Seeker and Right Hand to the Divine, Cassandra Allegra Portia Calogera Filomena Pentaghast, has about as many regrets as she does names. Which is to say, quite a few.





	

**Author's Note:**

> in which I just wanted to write some gay cassandra and make it angsty  
> also vergonya means regret in Catalan

It was on some foolish adventure with the Inquisitor, the elf apostate Solas, and the Iron Bull, when this all began. Avela and Bull were very drunk in the tavern in Skyhold when they got it into their heads that they should go dragon hunting. Solas, unusually friendly that night, casually mentioned that there were rumors of a dragon's lair being to the southeast. Bull nearly lost his grip on his drink, which was a little dramatic in Cassandra's opinion (which no one ever seemed to listen to) and Avela was  _beyond_ excited. Cassandra, cooly sipping a drink, hoped that they would all forget it in the morning, so long as Solas kept his snide little mouth shut and Avela and Bull kept drinking. She was sadly mistaken.

The following morning, at an ungodly hour, Avela practically threw Cassandra out of bed, shaking her awake. This was a mistake on Avela's part because she knew that Cassandra didn't sleep well most nights, and Cassandra never needed more than just someone to speak to wake her up. Avela, still kind of drunk from last night, only realized her mistake moments after Cassandra leapt up from bed, ready to punch whatever or whoever was closest to her face. 

"Whoa, whoa, shit, Cassandra! It's just Avela!" she exclaimed, hands up partially in surrender and partially in self defense.

"Avela," Cassandra droned, staring at her girlfriend, still half asleep. "Av... Avela? Why are you here? What time is it?"

"We're going dragon hunting and we're going now so we can be camped by sundown. Bull and I are going in to startle it and then you'll go in for the killing blow while Solas makes sure none of us get killed--"

Cassandra blinked slowly. "Slow down. We're doing what?"

"Dragon. Hunting."

"When, exactly?"

"Right now."

"Why?"

" _Cassandra_ ," Avela whined, throwing her hands up in annoyance. Pulling at Cassandra's chemise sleeve, she said, "Come  _on_ , we're burning daylight. I'll meet you at the gates." And with that, she whirled out of the room like some sort of human sized tornado. 

Cassandra, still slowly comprehending the first minute of this whole ordeal, automatically got dressed, calling for a servant to help her tie her armor in place in the back (her shoulders were constantly tight, no thanks to the stress of the Inquisition, so it was practically impossible to even reach around and touch her lower back, let alone her shoulder blades so that she could tie anything). She grabbed her shield and her sword, and made her way through the courtyard. She heard Bull yelling something from the gate, probably just to yell, knowing Bull, and she saw Solas also making his way down the steps to the gate. He looked well rested. Maybe it was all that time he spent in the Fade. He always looked well rested. The bastard. She glared at Solas from across the way, blaming him for this ridiculous happening. She noticed in the dim half moonlight and half dawn that Cullen's lights were on in his tower, meaning he either was rudely awakened as well by the Inquisitor and her yelling partner in crime, or he hadn't slept at all that night. They often kept each other company when they couldn't sleep, which was more often then either of them would ever acknowledge to anyone but each other. Cassandra wasn't sure if she would ever feel comfortable even talking about it with Avela. There were some things that only those raised as a military arm of the Chantry could discuss with each other.

 

Reaching the gate, Cassandra finally saw Josephine, board and pen in hand, making meticulous noted as Avela rambled on, with interjections from Bull, about the expedition. If this was successful, Josephine would probably make the ordeal work for the Inquisition, maybe put on a ball with some kind of dracological theme or create some kind of grand memorial of the mighty Herald of Andraste slaying an accursed beast to put somewhere in Orlais. Sometimes, Cassandra wondered what Josephine would have been like as the Left Hand instead of Leliana. 

"Cassandra, do you have any comments to make about this expedition?" Josephine asked in her lilting Antivan accent. She was awfully awake. It was a crime against the Maker.

"No."

"Well, Inquisitor, I wish you luck. Do try not to get killed. It would be difficult for me to convince the Chantry to let us give you a proper burial."

Avela grinned and kissed Josephine on the cheek, "I'll do my best. Besides, I've got Cassandra. She'd kill me if I died."

Cassandra snorted. She wasn't wrong.

The trip to the campsite was relatively uneventful, except for the occasional running from a bear and stopping for Solas to pick out a shard of rock from his foot (why he never wore shoes, Cassandra would never understand). Cassandra was almost convinced this was a wild goose chase until she heard the unmistakable heavy flapping of leather in the air above the ravine. True to her word, Avela made camp just as the sun was setting. She and Bull were checked their blades after dinner, whetting as they saw fit. Solas wandered a little ways from camp, maybe to dream about the area. Maybe he would dream about something useful for once. Cassandra, on the other hand, could not sleep or find anything that could hold her attention for long enough. Something about this whole area felt wrong.

She had been down here once before and it hadn't felt like this. She couldn't put her finger on what was wrong. She could ask Solas, she supposed, but she was still angry with him for encouraging her girlfriend to go on this hunt in the first place. He would also probably give her a vague answer about the spirits of a long past battle bringing the area sense of death, and that being the problem. And then he would inevitably bring up, once again, how spirits are just like people and she really, really was not up to listening to that for the fifteenth time. So she paced in her tent. Well, technically it was her tent and the Inquisitor's tent, but she was with Bull, talking dragon hunting strategy. It had recently rained, so her pacing literally made a rut in the ground in the middle of the tent. She only was stopped when she heard Bull say "goodnight, boss" and heard Avela head towards the tent, almost jumping into bed in order to pretend everything was all right. 

"Shit, what the fuck?" Avela hissed, evidently tripping over the pacing marks.

Cassandra faked a yawn and lifted her head from her pillow, "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, there's just a... dip or something in the dirt. I tripped. I'm all right." 

"How strange."

Avela shucked off her boots and her light armor, dimly illuminated by the moonlight coming through the crack of the tent entrance, and crawled into the bed across from Cassandra. Cassandra huffed and flipped, facing away from her girlfriend.

"Cassandra?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you for coming with me."

Cassandra was still miffed about the whole ordeal, so all she said was, "Of course. You are, after all, the Inquisitor." Avela hummed quietly in response, and quickly fell asleep. Or, it seemed quickly to Cassandra, who spent a good deal of the night tiredly staring out of the tent flap, across the camp.

The following morning, Cassandra felt even more tired than she did the morning before, and she didn't get up until the sun was solidly on the rise. It was a foggy morning, and they could afford to take their time. The fog likely wouldn't lift any time soon, and surely dragons couldn't see well in fog either. After eating something, Cassandra, Avela, Solas, and the Iron Bull entered the clearing on the hunt for this dragon. Iron Bull wanted to just yell until it showed up. Avela, finally seeing sense for once, agreed with Solas and Cassandra that a sneak attack would be the most beneficial course of action.

Finding the dragon wasn't too hard- they just had to follow the scent of burning carrion- but _fighting_ the dragon was another story altogether. The surprise attack went relatively well, certainly startling the dragon and allowing Solas and Avela to go after soft spots. However, their advantage quickly was reduced as great big wings stirred up the fog on the ground, thinning it and allowing the dragon to get a better look at anyone in the party at any time. After what felt like hours of grueling attacks from either side and extended crouching in holes not much bigger than a few hat boxes, Iron Bull managed to deliver a heavy blow to the top of the dragon's neck. Cassandra had been taking a mighty beating during the fight, with her reflexes being slowed significantly by her tiredness. Every time she would be knocked or thrown to the ground, she would lay for half of a moment with her eyes closed, wishing for sleep. This was not the mindset for someone that had jut been dragged by her girlfriend to fight a dragon for the glory of the Inquisition, and often it kept her from ducking behind her shield at proper times, allowing flames and Maker knows what else to hit her, forcing someone else to make sure she was okay while the rest continued the fight, redirecting the great beast away from Cassandra.

At one point when Bull and Cassandra ducked together behind an outcropping of rock, Bull, eye still on the dragon, asked, "Hey Seeker, are you good?"

She scoffed, tracking the Inquisitor's stealthy movements on the cliff behind the dragon. She would, hopefully, unleash some of the bees that Sera had gifted her, and at least distract the dragon for long enough for Bull and Cassandra to rush the left flank. "Of course."

"Uh huh." If Bull had two eyes, or if she hadn't been on his blind side, she would have sworn that he was giving her a sidelong glance. Avela was almost ready to strike. "Don't get yourself killed."

"Same to you, Bull."

Now, the dragon was stunned from Bull's attack. The four of them gave all that they had in attacking the right hind leg, the left hind looking rough thanks to the successful attack after Bull's concerned statement. Ideally, with both hind legs damaged, the dragon would have a much harder time taking off and charging at them as it pleased. The battle was going well, and despite it becoming like an endurance sport for Cassandra, Bull was thriving and even making taunts directed at the dragon. She could have sworn some of them were sexually charged taunts. She just hoped he could keep it in his pants long enough to finish the job. He was a professional. He'd manage.

Cassandra suddenly saw a weak spot, a chance to end it. Solas had managed to scald a sensitive area between the dragon's jaw and throat, burning off some of the fragile, flexible scales, the flesh still smoking. She yelled at Bull to taunt the dragon closer to her. It conveniently brought its giant head swinging down to snap at Cassandra as she raced to close the distance between her blade and her target. She tilted her blade upwards, deciding to stab in and then pull across any blood vessels she could while still embedded in its skin. The dragon roared as she plunged her sword into its neck, and with a level of satisfaction, Cassandra glanced at the dragon's eye. It had a shocking purple iris, and its pupil was dilated in pain. She felt a sense of pity and grabbed her sword with both hands to drag through flesh more quickly, shield discarded by her feet. The dragon's eye suddenly flicked to her, pupil now a thin, dangerous slit. The last thing she knew was someone screaming her name and a bright flash and pain, overcome by blackness.

She awoke with her ears ringing. The sun blinded her when she opened her eyes, and she vomited on the grass next to her.

"Oh good, you're awake."

Cassandra jolted up, world spinning. Sitting across from her was a demon. One of desire, she guessed by the horns. They looked... familiar. They looked like the same horns that the dragon had. Twisting, deadly sharp.

"Yes, before you ask, I did possess the dragon. I didn't appreciate you destroying my vessel, by the way."

"Where is the Inquisitor?" Cassandra was suddenly flooded by memories of what happened before she passed out. The flash was the dragon releasing something like lightning. It had hit Avela, and she had heard her screams. Her hands shook in anger.

"Relax, your fucktoy and the other ones will be fine, so long as you listen to what I have to say."

 "I refuse to bargain with a demon," Cassandra spat. Swaying on her feet.

"Dear Seeker, you don't have anything to bargain with. This isn't bargaining." It raised itself up to her eye level. "This is an offer you cannot refuse." 

"What is keeping me from smiting you where you stand?"

The demon's eyes narrowed and it laughed coldly, peering down at the fallen Inquisitor at its feet. "What's keeping you from smiting me is that only I can take them out of this without killing them. Blood magic and all that. And I have your sword, Seeker."

Cassandra grimaced, but knew she didn't need her sword to banish the demon back through the Veil. She had a dagger tucked into her boot, and it would work just as well. But would it be worth the lives of her companions? Solas, although occasionally helpful, wouldn't even know the difference of being forever in a dead sleep. But she couldn't keep Bull, and especially not Avela, trapped like this. She had to do something.

"The deal is this: you let me go on my way to find a new host, probably among the mages, since you rudely destroyed my last one. In exchange for that, you may have one wish granted. And I will release your friends, and we can forget about this whole thing. You did kill a dragon. You can keep that." The demon grinned.

She swallowed, a hard lump in her throat. Her decision had been made before the demon had even started explaining. She would not let the Inquisitor die at the hands of a demon because of her personal failings. “I want all of my debts to be cleared.”

“How much do you owe?”

She laughed, an actual short laugh. Her hands were balled into fists.“You misunderstand. My debts are not monetary. I want my personal debts cleared, as well as the debts others owe me."

"That is terribly generous of you, Seeker. And dull. Isn't there something in you that wants to have a _power_ over others?" the demon practically was purring and it made Cassandra feel sick.

"There is not anything in me that wants to rule over anyone. I have told you what I desire. Clear all debts relating to me and I will let you go to... possess a hapless rebel mage." Memories flashed across her mind. Memories of slaughter, secrets, suicides. Young soldiers, wounded on the field of battle, swearing that they would pay her back one day. She didn't want that. She hated being in debt or being indebted to. She had so much to bear. To have the relief of knowing no one would feel forced to protect her...

"So it shall be." A purplish haze covered Solas, the Iron Bull, and Avela. The desire demon sunk down, laughing, and disappeared into the haze, which dissipated as quickly as it had come. Cassandra felt a wash of... something. It almost felt like a wave of cleanliness, like she felt during her training as a Seeker. Chills crawled up her spine. She felt free, but wrong.

Avela sat up, eyebrows knit in pain. "What the hell just happened?"

"Avela," Cassandra breathed, quickly making her way to her girlfriend, absolutely ignoring Solas and only giving Bull a passing glance. She pulled Avela into a tight hug.

"Ribs--" Avela wheezed, and Cassandra jumped back. 

"I'm so sorry- are you all right?"

Avela gave her a lopsided smile, "It's fine. I'll be all right once we get this dragon back to Skyhold. I'm thinking of putting it in the main entranceway above the throne."

Solas narrowed his eyes, "Seeker, what happened?"

"The dragon was... possessed."

"Possessed?"

"By a desire demon. It trapped you all with some sort of blood magic. I tricked it into freeing you and I killed it." A lie.

"I wonder why a desire demon would want to possess a dragon?" Solas mused quietly.

"Does it matter? Demon's dead. We've got this kickass dead dragon. And we're not dead," Iron Bull pointed out, "It sounds like it's been a good day to me."

Cassandra hmmed. 

"So how are we taking this thing home?"

 


End file.
